Thinspo and the Liquid Fast

Starting my liquid fast today. I can already tell that today will be an easy one. Can't say what tomorrow will bring, though. My plan is beef broth and water today since I already drank coffee and took some SlimQuik Extreme. I was going to take some lax, but that problem resolved on its own. LOL :X

Soooo.... thinspo drama. I have been looking at some extreme thinspo lately, because I find it inspiring NOT because I want to be like that. If those women want that and achieve it then good for them. I don't want that for myself though. BUTTTT.... I think my hubby thinks I want to look like that which led to a pretty big fight which could have led to the end of my life as I know it. If I can't restrict freely it would be too stressful. I had to promise him that I would not go below 100 lbs. I actually want to be in the 90's. 95 is the lowest I will let myself go, because I have a son and he comes first. If I can't be there for him, then I'm a failure and that is NOT perfection. My goal is perfection in all aspects of my life. A part of me tells me that this isn't possible but to chase the impossible while knowing that it can't be achieved is harmless, right?!?! But on a certain level I have to believe it CAN be achieved because to think otherwise leaves too much room for error. Does that make sense?

Anywho, it's 12:30pm and so far so good. 3 days of the liquid fast and then I will start to introduce some raw veggies into my diet while I think of where to go next with this calculated madness. :) Love Love Love Love Love

P.S. Just weighed in at 107.4 lbs (5'4)