Lost it!

Completely fucking lost it. And now I have to watch these L<3ve My Body commercials on TV. Do they torture you too. Remind you that you haven't laid in bed unable to move from starvation, and that it means you are gaining, gaining, gaining. I'm sorry, and I know it's not honest..... I just can't post my current weight. I feel so out of control it makes me sick. I need one good day of fasting and strength and power and to KNOW I am back in this game before I can post about the new-neverending struggle. I WILL get back to where I was. If.it.fucking.kills.me.

Anything for it. People aren't even shocked when they see me anymore. How sad.........