Purge... I guess it's better than not purging

Ahhh.... sorry I haven't been getting to you blog. I feel weird repeating my story on so many different forums and sites. But I know you are most important to me. After having done so well with restricting, last night I bp'ed. I was doing well most of the day, although struggling with urges. Then the magic hour comes. My hubs wanted to go buy alcohol, and I begged him not to. He did anyway, and after two sips of bud light I binged on fried chicken and french fries. It wasn't worth it. It didn't taste good or feel good. It felt so awful even as I was doing it. So I told him I was going to take a bath, and as the water was filling the tub, I purged. Not completely empty though, because I had to be quiet. I feel I got most of it out, though. So basically I'm fucked for knowing my calorie intake for yesterday. Today I weighed in at 105.6 lbs (BMI 18) after a piss and a glass of water because I was super dehydrated. I don't feel good about purging. It's just better than nothing. Restricting is what gets me off. When I'm hungry, and I see women eye my body with envy. Well, it's kind of like a drug. Oh geez.... get a life lady!!!!!!!! Under 500 cals is my goal for today. LOOOOVE!!!!!!