Fast Failure =(

Day 2 was going great till about 9:30, my magic binge time, where I loaded up on a 1/2 lb steak and raw celery and carrots (with a balsamic/mustard dipping sauce). And that failure is proof that I do not suffer from anorexia. Anorexics have a hard time eating, not a hard time not eating. And that's why I label myself as an extreme dieter. I do this, because I want to be thin. I think thin is beautiful. I feel like if I were to reach my weightloss goals that my hubbly bubbly would never leave me. How could he? Wouldn't I be the perfect image of a sacrifice, control and dedication? It seems so noble to me to be thin. I don't trust fat people. They are loud and obnoxious. They're always barging around everywhere and force their opinions on everything down your throat. Isn't always the fat wo/man making a scene in public? Isn't always the fat person that has to bring a complaint to human resources in a rude manner? They demand of you what they themselves can't provide in relationships. They're takers of more than they deserve. That's how they got so big in the first place isn't it? They know they should only have one cookie, but they take three, five, ten! because they can't stop themselves even if it's for the good of themselves. And I don't want to be that! I want to be the opposite of that. I want to be good, giving, forgiving, kind, respectful, intelligent. Although, I hate ProAna for being accessible to minors and don't consider myself ana I would die without the ProAna online community. They are some of the most intelligent and kind women I've ever spoken with even if it is only online! Everyone seems so well rounded, and I feel so connected to every one of them. Today, I might eat a little sushi for New Years Eve dinner, and that's only a maybe. I hope to get away with not eating anything. I weighed in at 106.0 this morning. Love you!!