Fuck Food Fuck Food FUCK FOOD!!!!

Fuck food. Why do I eat? I don't like it. It DOES NOT MAKE ME HAPPY!!! But I keep doing it. 101.2 lbs. I just want to maintain in the 90's but it's hard. BMI 17.4, so why am I not happy? 17.4 means I'm skinny right? I mean... people are pretty much disgusted by me, but I'm a size 25 (size 0) so who cares. Unnnggghhhh.... I don't know what it is that I want. I do know one thing.... DON'T EVER COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING COLD!!! I was doing it without even realizing that I could tip someone who knew about the signs of anorexia off. I don't want to be sickly and have to hide my body. I want to be able to dress cute. Yesterday I saw a very, very bony woman who was basically wearing a burqa. That's not what I want. But I ate too much already today, and I hate myself. I know this doesn't make sense at all, and that there is no solid topic. Whatever............... I don't want recovery. I just need to be happy. Food doesn't make me happy. I like walking around seeing all the people fatter than me and know that food does make those people happy. And they pay for it everyday that they have to look at those nasty cellulite thighs in the mirror. I'm such a bitch.