Embarrassed...........

103.0

I'm such a failure, and I hate myself. Went on a cleaning spree and have had one string cheese so far today. I'm so scared. I need to get down to 98 before October which will be hard, because I don't have a real plan except starve. Guess just exercise more!!!!!!!!

I really feel lonely and wish I had a friend to be open about this with. I feel like it would be easier and soooooooo freeing. I guess that's why all the online communities exist. Atleast we have this. It's kind of like being gay in the old days. People think you choose this, and you're choosing a bad path of self-destruction. And that you can stop at anytime, no biggie. We totally have Ana-dar and can spot each other a mile away. But we don't have the desire to consume each other in a firey passion or anything, so we don't reach out. Ugh......... Lame-o!